I could have conceived a child who would now be two months old

Holy shit. When you put it that way that's fucked up. If at the beginning of the project I accidentally impregnated a girl our offspring would now be 2 months old. According to YourBabyToday.com this is what it says about two month olds:

Your 2-month-old is now starting to pay more attention to her world. Most of all, baby loves the sound of your voice and follows it around the room with real concentration. Your different tones of voice fascinate her; she'll respond to your high-pitched, singsong tone just as readily as to your calm, soothing voice. Better yet, baby's already talking back with a variety of sweetly-pitched coos. But when baby isn't calm and cooing, she might be fussy. Ah, the mixed blessings of a 2-month-old!

Fuuuucccckkkkk! My baby could be cooing right now! That would be a major milestone to becoming a real life adult. You know what another milestone is though? Having 335 blogs to your name. That screams maturity.

Baby... man...

I didn't do that.

But that's what I could have done.

I could have completed a Graduate Degree

Albeit a pretty shitty and half-assed one. But it would be possible! Some place would let me drop out of work and take classes double time for one year. I bet Cuny would let me. And then I would be someone who was teaching and learning at Cuny.

I didn't do that.

But that's what I could have done.

I could have pulled a Tyler Perry and made about five movies

This is serious. I believe that Tyler Perry releases a new movie once every 2.2 months. This is very scientific, and if it is exaggerating it's only by about one movie. So, by Tyler Perry's standards I could have written, produced, directed and acted in 5 movies since I began making blogs every day. That is, by the way, on top of the television show and the promoting Precious based on the novel Push by Sapphire.

So what would my five movies be? Here they are:

• Dru Johnston's Tie that Knot Finally!
• Dru Johnston's Man! Who else is getting married these days?!
• Dru Johnston's Valuable based on the novel Shove by Dru "Emerald" Johnston
• Dru Johnston's Medea murders her children to flee from Jason's oppression
• Dru Johnston's Boy! Dru Johnston's Untitled Movie Project?!

I didn't do that.

But that's what I could have done.

I could have begun training and then completed a marathon

In general it says the bare minimum of time it takes someone to train for a marathon is something around 6 months. This is of course assuming you aren't someone who just has run 15 miles a day since they were 5 in an effort to calm down their ADD. But 6 months of heavy training is what the books (read: Wikipedia) says.

Alright, so that knocks off 6 months from the 11 months I get to play with. That leaves me 5 months of free time. I'm going to say that for me I'd like to ideally train for 8 months, that way I can take my sweet ol' time weaning my way off chipotle. That still leaves me 3 months of fuckarounderry.

So, in conclusion, I could have bumfucked around doing nothing for three months, marginally ran for 2 months whilst eating ice cream and carnitas, and then trained decently for 6 months and then ran that beast.

I didn't do that.

But that's what I could have done.