I could have conceived a child who would now be two months old

Holy shit. When you put it that way that's fucked up. If at the beginning of the project I accidentally impregnated a girl our offspring would now be 2 months old. According to YourBabyToday.com this is what it says about two month olds:

Your 2-month-old is now starting to pay more attention to her world. Most of all, baby loves the sound of your voice and follows it around the room with real concentration. Your different tones of voice fascinate her; she'll respond to your high-pitched, singsong tone just as readily as to your calm, soothing voice. Better yet, baby's already talking back with a variety of sweetly-pitched coos. But when baby isn't calm and cooing, she might be fussy. Ah, the mixed blessings of a 2-month-old!

Fuuuucccckkkkk! My baby could be cooing right now! That would be a major milestone to becoming a real life adult. You know what another milestone is though? Having 335 blogs to your name. That screams maturity.

Baby... man...

I didn't do that.

But that's what I could have done.